The plan

I have been a member of the baby center website for all my kids and they send little suggested activities each day. Today's activity was to "create your birth plan". This plan is obviously made for the ultra-natural, first-time birthers. As I went through their suggested labor comfort options I had to laugh;



A birthing stool- WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS?


A birthing chair- AGAIN, WHAT?

A squatting bar- I can imagine what this is but, really has anyone ever used one?


A birthing pool/tub- Sounds nice, right?


All these options do not apply when you get an epidural.. NOT something that was mentioned before I got to the hospital with number 1.

Another favorite section on your birthing plan list; Pain medication options, one of the choices you can check is;
Please don't offer me pain medication. I'll request it if I need it.
- Now why would this be on your birth plan. Is it just because you feel like you could wuss out and don't want to? I call this choice- New Mother masochism

I have never knew of this category before but sounds a little "out-there". It is called, "After the birth" and one option is;
I would like to wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsating before it's clamped and cut.
- Anyone have any clue why?

This one must be why they throw the birth plan out the window when you arrive;
Please don't offer anything to my baby at any point
-This must be for those women who don't plan to or need to sleep post delivery. I guess the baby gets to eat air until you wake up.

I know the first time I was pregnant I was really into this concept of "the birth plan". I laugh now at how naive I was. It must have been the sense of control I felt at writing down exactly what I wanted to have happen. As I walked in the door to labor and delivery I was waiting for the nurse to say "do you have your birth-plan orders?" This piece of paper so carefully planned had all the instructions for the imagined 2-4 hour event. Of course, like most of us girls it was never removed from the suitcase nor did anything go "as planned". For anyone on number 1 just remember that the birth plan is kind of like the seat in the airplane that can also be a floatation device... false hope.

Lessons from the weekend

I love when its just a tish too cold to play outside and just a little too nice to be indoors. Its about this time of the year when I start to get really stir crazy for a vacation or warmer weather! This weekend was a 3 day long venture in getting out of this shlump of stir craziness. I can't say its completely gone but with some amazing creativity (by me, of course) we did make some interesting creations. I gave my son the option of making a robot or an airplane for our craft time on Saturday. This is the first craft time, please don't get all excited that I regulary have a time slot for "craft time". That would be way too organized for me. Back to the story, Kaleb wanted both an airplane and robot, which is kind of funny cause I have no idea how to make a robot or an airplane (other than paper one). :) Ha ha joke's on him, right?

Trip One to Walmart: After a painful hour and half at looking at the craft aisle in Walmart we got all of our must have parts and pieces. We are in the process of backing out of the aisle and then, BUT OH WAIT... what do I spy with my little eye... is it...a Pottery Wheel? My heart does a slight leap, as my son looks at me and says "you won't let me have this" Of course I have to play it cool and say "well, I think you have to make a choice.. airplane, robot or super, awesome, amazing pottery wheel." Knowing what easy prey he is, I start having a vision of Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze

All the past hour of gathering "airplane" stuff went back on the shelf. Of course I put it all back where I found, it! Who would be so inconsiderate as to just dump a load of foam board, paint, brushes and glue on the shelf next to scrapbook supplies. CERTAINLY NOT ME. :)
Kaleb was excited and so was I,how could this go wrong?
After an hour of set-up and instruction time we began "wedging" the clay. This all would have been fine except the clay is very hard. It would have been easier to wedge a rock. None the less, with weakened wrists and strong determination we managed to form a ball of hard clay. Which was put on the machine.
I should note this is not my child on the machine, it is a copy of someone else's HAPPY child on their machine.


Once again, where was I with my camera? My kid looked like this trying to work on this machine.





Our creations were not a complete disaster. This is what we created





Okay,Okay this is a complete lie. We did not create anything except a humongous mess.

Load up kids..trip 2 to Walmart. Might I note that I also am battling a bad case of gastritis and all its glory. This better be a quicker trip than last time.

BACK TO WALMART WITH SOME VERY STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT THIS PRODUCT. I spend the drive over recreating the scene where the customer service representative tells me we cannot return this used product, and where I have to show her how this product makes false claims of success. OH YES, I was prepared for the worst. To my surprise no such interaction occured and off we went to buy all the "airplane" supplies again. Good thing no one cleaned up the scrapbook aisle yet.





PICTURE OF SUPER AWESOME AIRPLANE.


Best part of the day. Finishing craft time

Worst part of the day. Realizing at 6pm I have to make a 3rd trip to Walmart for Milk.

LESSONS:
1) Do not let movies influence you.
2) Never make promises for craft time sucess
3) Never go to walmart with a bad case of gastritis.
4) When having an urge to break a boredom spell, go to the movies I promise its WAY cheaper.